48th & 18th monthversary

14 Juli 2013

Resmi saya ‘jadian’ 4 tahun sekaligus merit 1,5 tahun sama Utin.

Tanggal jadian sama tanggal merit kita emang sama, tanggal 14. Ga sengaja disama-samain sih, tapi pas-pasan aja sama. Bagus deh, jadi ga usah kebanyakan tanggal, biar ingetnya gampang haha. Kemaren aja saya uda ampir lupa kapan tanggal jadian kita loh! Tanggal sama bulan sih inget, tapi kalo tahun, saya musti inget-inget dulu sampe yakin kalo kita jadian tahun 2009. Parah ya. Kalo saya aja lupa gimana Utin coba? Ga mungkin dia bakal inget tanggal jadian kita hahahaha.

4 tahun jadian, termasuk 1,5 tahun merit kalo diibaratkan umur manusia ya masih balita lah umur hubungan kita. But for me, seems like i have already known him forever, and i mean it as a good thing of course. Kalo 4 tahun aja uda kaya gitu, apa kabar orang yang hubungannya udah 7 tahun kaya May sama Bandi ya? hahaha.

Ga ada yang spesial si ngerayain 14 Juli kemaren. Tepatnya dirayain aja juga engga hahaha. Tapi momen itu bikin saya merenung beberapa hal soal cinta dan pernikahan.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, si Dina nulis di status FB nya, ‘Thanks God I’m married to my best friend’. And I think she’s right. Not everyone as lucky as us, who can marry our best friend. Saya kenal beberapa orang yang sejak merit malah terlihat ga bahagia, malah keliatan stress. Pas lagi ngobrol sama dia tentang pernikahannya, tentang istrinya yang baru aja positif hamil anak kedua, ekspresi dia bukan seneng tapi malah kaya bete gitu, kaya penuh tekanan. Mungkin karena dia cowo ya, jadi beban nya lebih berat. Tapi kalo liat hubungan dia sama istrinya juga kaya datar banget, ga ada percikan percikan cinta yang terpancar dari mata yang berbinar-binar gitu (haha), bahkan pas awal-awal pernikahan mereka. Agak miris ngeliatnya, padahal mereka juga merit karena emang saling sayang, bukan karena dijodohin.

Kasus lain, sebelom kita merit ada orang yang uda merit bilang gini ke Utin, “puas-puasin deh lo sekarang main futsal, nanti kalo uda merit lo ga bisa bebas kaya sekarang” dengan nada sinis. Dan saya pun kembali bertanya-tanya, apa dia segitu tertekannya menikah karena dilarang kegiatan ini itu sama istrinya? Karena kalau saya sama utin, walau kita uda merit juga kita masih bisa ngelakuin kegiatan masing-masing, asal ada kompromi satu sama lain aja. Walau emang sih harus diakui setelah menikah kehidupan pribadi jadi berkurang, tiap weekend atau ada kesempatan pasti ada aja acara keluarga atau ini itu. Emang ga sebebas dulu, tapi selalu ada waktu buat olahraga atau ‘me time’ dengan teman-teman masing-masing.

Dari beberapa kasus ngobrol-ngobrol sama beberapa orang yang uda merit, sayapun mengambil kesimpulan kalau kami bisa ngerasain pernikahan yang bahagia, itu adalah anugerah Tuhan yang luar biasa. Namanya pernikahan emang pasti ga ada yang mulus, berantem-berantem mah pasti ada, sebel-sebel mah sering, tapi puji Tuhan semuanya masih bisa dilewati. Saya sadar kalo pernikahan yang survive sampai akhirnya itu murni pertolongan tangan Tuhan aja.

Kalau saya beruntung bisa merit dengan teman baik saya, maka saya lebih beruntung lagi bisa menikah sama orang yang saya sayang. Karena banyak temen-temen dan orang di sekitar saya yang masih berjuang mencari pasangan hidupnya. Ada yang uda ketemu pasangan yang cocok, tapi ga disetujui orang tua. Atau uda disetujui orang tua, tapi dirinya yang ga yakin sama pasangannya, dsb dst. Makanya kalo lagi sebel sama pasangan, saya suka inget-inget rasanya jomblo dulu, inget susahnya nyari orang yang cocok sama saya, dan betapa beruntungnya saya uda bisa ketemu dan menikah sama orang yang saya sayang. Biasanya sih sukses meredam kekesalan, dan malah berbalik jadi tambah sayang sama pasangan hehehe.

Terakhir, saya mau share artikel yang pas banget buat jadi perenungan monthversary saya. Artikelnya terambil dari sini.

10, 243

A somewhat surprising number, isn’t it?

Rather amazing. That’s how many times I’ve calculated we’ve held hands. Over 10,000 times. My slim hand tucked into his large, strong one. Our fingers entwined and my wedding ring tucked in between. Perhaps the fact that we’ve been married for 20 years may help account for this impressive number.

But then again…maybe it doesn’t explain a thing.

You should be shocked that we hold hands at all. You see, the odds were against us from the get-go.

Those two will wake up hating each other.

That’s what the pastor pronounced at our wedding ceremony. He really did. Now he didn’t say it publicly – merely mentioned it casually afterward to those standing nearby. In his professional opinion, we didn’t stand a chance.

Wake up hating?? Not exactly the blessing a new bride looks for on her wedding day. It would seem we were doomed. Declared incompatible from the very start.

Then oh! how I dreaded that day when we’d wake up hating each other. I’d always hoped we’d turn out the lights loving one another. And wake up just the same. Every day for the rest of our lives.

A few years went by and we looked on while many of our friends’ marriages fell apart. He and I lay next to each other in the dark, quietly praying and weeping for them. Our hearts breaking for their hearts – for theirs and for their children’s. It wasn’t how anyone ever wanted it.

And I wept a little from fear, too.  What would happen to us? Were we going to be next?

As if he could read my thoughts, he grasped my hand and whispered, “Let’s not do that, Babe. Let’s love each other instead.” That’s all he said. But I knew what he meant and I squeezed his hand back to let him know that he could count me in. We were going up against the odds.

Now here we are, twenty years later, and still holding hands. Still learning to love each other. Still determined to never grow cold or hateful toward the other. Yes, by God’s grace, I’m still reaching for his hand.

For All Those Who’re Going Against the Odds

A good marriage is possible. You can do this. Don’t let others tell you that you’re never going to make it. Maybe you can’t on your own, but with God’s help you can.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13).

A good marriage is worth fighting for. Band together and recognize the real Enemy. This is a spiritual battle. It’s not about him and it’s not about you – it’s so much bigger than both of you. Fight hard for this one. 

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places(Eph.6:12).

A good marriage is worth loving him for.  Keep looking for ways to love him more. Don’t try to do it the world’s way, but seek to have a Christ-centered marriage.

And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma (Eph.5:2).

A good marriage is worth praying for.  If I had one “secret” to how we’ve overcome the odds? I’d say it was prayer. Marriage has dramatically increased – and improved – my prayer life. It’s changed him. And it’s changed me. 

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God (Phil. 4:6).

A good marriage is worth staying together for. Those vows you exchanged meant something real.  You’ve been joined and the two of you are one – to live, love and walk with each other. Stick together.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Eph.5:31).

So this morning I woke up loving him.  One more day in our favor. Each of us with a coffee cup in one hand and holding hands with the other. It made me wonder if we might just beat those odds after all. Thank you, Lord!

Here’s to holding hands another 10,000 times….and I hope the same for you. And even more.

In His grace,

***

Happy belated 4th anniversary my dear hubby! May God bless our marriage always.

Sori blur.. Tapi ini satu-satunya foto berdua kita setelah saya potong pendek *sekalian pamer rambut baru (lagi) ceritanya hihihi.