… comes other season, and another one soon to be followed. After the euphoria of wedding season, there is more euphoria to come, even more sentimental feeling is in the air. But unluckily, this certain ‘season’ sometimes brings some troublesome (for me), just because there is some people who tends to be (even) more nosey and insensitive in this season. Can you guess what season is it?
Yes, it is pregnancy and soon to be babyborn season. No, I dont have anything against those of my friends who are getting pregnant and having babies, really i dont. I am truly happy for them. I just dont get along very well with those people around us who seems more nosey and insensitive especially during this season. I have my own reasons because i have encountered some, and eventhough i know it’ll be better kept unpublished, after some consideration i have decided to write and share this, because it’s getting too much for me, and maybe it’ll help some of my friends to understand my certain reactions. If you happened to find this too offensive just tell me, i’ll make it private.
If you know me in person, you may notice that i am not too keen with babies, children, and tends to stay away from my pregnant friends. Believe me, it is not because i dont like them. It is purely because whenever i (or even my husband) get too close with babies, children, or any of my pregnant friends, our other friends, colleagues, family, will somehow get some kind of ‘inspiration’ pop up in their mind, and they will start asking questions. Oh you know their classic annoying questions. “Udah isi belom?”, “Kok belom isi juga?”, “Kapan mau isi?”, “Dijaga ya?”, “Jangan kelamaan dijaga, nanti susah punya anak”, “Jangan kecapean ntar ga jadi-jadi anaknya”, which is none of their business, really.
On chinese new year, i went to my uncle’s home. His eldest son, which is my cousin, has a 5 months old baby, and they were there. My parents played with the baby, while i knew better and stayed at my place. But still, whenever she watched my mom played with the baby, my aunt immediately asked me, ” Kamu kapan donk punya anak? Tuh mamanya uda pengen gendong cucu.” . Sighed. FYI, my mom never told me that, she never pushes me anything, and thanks God for that. Why do the nosey people tends to come from (extended) family? Which i couldnt do much about that. So instead of snapping back at her, i just smiling coldly and answered, “Doain aja tante”. And she continued “Tuh makanya gendong dulu aja biar cepet (punya anak).” she referred to some beliefs that if you want to have baby sooner, you have to hold someone’s else baby. Dont understand why. And this is the second thing that i dont like, people who like to boss around and tell me what to do, especially in this very personal case.
Still in chinese new year, we visited Utin’s family house. By family means his aunt’s house. This particular aunt is already well known as a nosey person, and no wonder whenever she happened to sit next to me, she started asking questions about why i dont have baby yet, and started lecturing me about why i shouldnt postponing the baby, etc. I still dont understand why people likes to lecture and telling me what to do and what not to do, instead of just praying for me, and for us to get a baby soon, just like what they wanted? Who does she think i am? God who can make myself pregnant whenever i want it?
Utin was holding and playing with our friends’ baby. And after a while, the baby’s father which is our friends, started to give comment “Udah cocok tuh. (punya anak). Tuh si Dea gendong aja, trus dipipisin pasti cepet deh”. Euh. Again, another person who like to boss around. Please, until when people can mind their own business?
Similar with case 3, but it is worse. I accompanied Utin to attend his high school reunion. Once he introduced me to his friend, a young woman holding her son, and she started to ask, “Belum punya anak?” Again, i have to answer nicely yet coldy, “Belum” . “Loh emang uda merit berapa lama?””2 tahun” “Nih, mau dipipisin biar cepet punya anak?”while gesturing to her baby. Ergh! Please, we just met couple of seconds ago. I dont even know you and you are even not one of Utin’s close friend. Dont you think it’s unpolite?? What’s wrong really with couple after 2 years marriage and still dont have baby? And why does it matters to you?
This one is different case, but it is still annoying. This only happened last few days. When we were at starbuck, queueing for 57%disc promotion (hahaha) we accidentally met Utin’s friend. After bought me drink, Utin left to meet his other friends, and i was left with this girl. So, she started the usual unnecessary chit chat.“Apa kabar? “ “Baik..” “Loh, bukannya kemaren lagi isi?” “Hah? Engga kok, salah liat kali.” “Iya ah, kayanya waktu itu lo lagi isi deh” “Engga kok, gw emang belom isi. Mungkin waktu itu pas lagi gemukan kali ya” “Mmm.. masa sih? Engga deh kayanya, waktu itu mukanya ga berubah, cuma badannya aja” “….”
WT*. I never met this kind of people who are nosey and soooo annoying. Hey, this is me, the one that we are talking about. And do you think you know me better than myself??? How can be you so sure about my pregnancy and insisted that i am pregnant while i am not??? So rude! But I think she finally realized that and get ashamed, because afterwards she just ended the conversation and left. Yeah, she should be.
At office, i couldnt get sick or looks unwell, otherwise they will started to think i am pregnant and make gossip about that. Especially because one of our team is pregnant , and now this nosey person will think everyone who got sick also might be pregnant. So silly. I was sick like 3 days ago, then i could tell that she cant wait to find moment to ask me whether i am pregnant. So whenever she got time she will come to me and ask. Not only that, she also wanted to know why i dont have baby yet, whether i was taking birth control pills or not,. and when i am going to have a baby. Even if i didnt answer it, she will conclude it herself. So in case anyone asked me and i dont want to answer, she will be happily answer it for me without i even asked. It happened once in front of my face, and who knows what she talked behind my back. I feel like slapping her in the face. These people are too nosey more that i could take it.
So you see.. it’s a glimpse of what i’ve been through. Maybe those are nothing compares to others’ experience,but that’s not the point. Well i dont have any point either beside just bitching around LOL. Again, i dont mean to offend anyone, i just got too annoyed of those nosey people and just want to share what i’ve been through. And also i never get bored hoping and wishing that people could learn better to mind their own business and stop being so nosey. And of course it is also for myself too, to stop asking unnecessary questions and stay out of my business.
Well, i have to end this post before it get worse. And for the sake to keep it positive, i will end this post with a positive illustration that i found on path hehe
Luckily, the ones who are my real friends and my parents (both parents and in law) understand me well, they wont ask any single question about that, and i am really thankful for that. They understand that whenever i am ready i will tell them, and whenever i get pregnant they also will be the first one to know. So i guess i will just have to ignore those nosey people and focus more on those who are more mattered to me. Right?:)