life · love · marriage life

Love is never easy

Belakangan saya lagi suka nonton salah satu serial baru di Star World, ‘Miss Advised‘. Ini serial tentang 3 cewe yang berprofesi sebagai pakar cinta, – relationship expert, professional matchmaker, and sex expert’, tapi malah berjuang dengan kehidupan cinta mereka sendiri, bolak balik gagal dalam hubungan, dan harus berjuang buat menemukan ‘the one’, ‘soulmate’ or whatever you call it. Ironis ya? Ga peduli berapa banyak teori tentang cinta yang mereka tau, kenyataannya cinta itu bukan teori. Nonton film ini bikin saya kepikiran beberapa hal tentang cinta, terutama dari tagline iklan nya, ‘The road to love is never easy’

Beberapa hari yang lalu, temen saya bilang kalau makin gede makin susah nemu orang baru yang bisa jadi calon pacar. Waktu sekolah dan kuliah kesempatan untuk ketemu orang baru masih banyak, kesempatan untuk kenalan terbuka lebar, tapi semakin dewasa semakin susah ketemu orang baru, terutama kalau bidang pekerjaan yang dijalanin bukan pekerjaan yang banyak ketemu orang baru. Ya memang semua itu pilihan, tapi tetep aja makin gede pergaulan makin terbatas, makin banyak temen yang udah punya hubungan serius, udah married, bahkan uda punya anak, dan makin mempersempit kemungkinan untuk ketemu calon pacar, apalagi calon suami/istri. Yeah, that’s true, and that could be frustrating.

I’ve been there before. Eventhough i wasnt a professional neither expert in the field of love. but i really know the feeling. Seperti yang udah pernah saya cerita sebelumnya, Utin adalah pacar pertama dan terakhir saya. Bukan karena sengaja sok-sok an cuma mau pacaran sekali seumur hidup, tapi emang karena saya baru dikasih kesempatan sama Tuhan buat ngerasain punya pacar setelah saya lulus sidang tugas akhir. Jadi saya melewati masa SMA dan kuliah saya gigit jari, ngeliat temen-temen satu persatu mulai punya pacar, putus, punya pacar lagi, putus lagi, dst, sementara saya masih aja jomblo. Saya udah ngelewatin nightmare STMJ tahap 1 dan 2 – Semester Tiga Masih Jomblo, Semester Tujuh Masih Jomblo, dan untungnya ga sampe tahap 3, Setelah Tamat Masih Jomblo, padahal saya takut banget ngalamin itu. (tapi toh setelah terpaksa dilewatin itu, it wasnt the end of the world anyway).  Bukan ga ada yang saya taksir atau ga ada yang ngedeketin, but somehow none of them felt right. Walaupun pernah deket sampe-sampe ampir jadian (menurut saya loh hahaha), toh ujung-ujungnya juga ga jadian, entah saya yang menjauh, atau dia nya yang menjauh. Dan yang kaya gini kejadian berkali-kali.

So, yes I know how it feels to be frustrated because you dont know where to find the right one for you. You think you have done everything, but love seems doesnt want to come to you. So frustrated that you feel that something is wrong with you, but you dont know what and how to fix it. Yeah, for me the road to love was not easy either. Eventhough those moments have passed (thanks God for that! It was really a miracle though i could met him at the first place), i still remember the feeling clearly. And i think that is the feeling that i couldnt forget. Ever.

So what’s the point of writing this post anyway? Well, this is a note to myself (and to you who consider yourselves lucky and blessed enough to have found love), about how i should appreciate love given in my life more. How i should appreciate my husband, and our marriage even more. I still remember there were moments when i was mad at people who already found their other halves, but still complaining and complaining. ‘Dont they know that they are lucky enough even to find love?’ I used to think like that. And yeah i know, things changed and maybe at this moment people can be mad at me especially when i complained about my relationship. Because sometimes i forget that actually i am blessed to have someone special in my life, and i forget how hard it was to find love.

Indeed, love itself is never easy. Even after you think you have found the right one, you will still need to struggle to keep and to maintain it. You will need a hard work to keep the fire burning, and of course you need to sacrifice some (even all) your egos, for the sake to make the relationship works. It’s not easy, everything has its own consequences, and it’s up to you which consequences that you are more willing to take.

So, in the end of this endless babbling, i just want to say, ‘Good luck and dont give up on love’ to those who are still struggling to find love. Just remember, you have precious freedom that sometimes married couple wishes to have. Have as much fun as you could and be yourself, because i believe that somehow love will find its way to you, as long as you keep your arms and mind open, and still believe in it.

I also want to say the same thing : ‘Good luck and dont give up on love’ to those who are blessed with love, and need to struggle to maintain it. Just remember that there are many people who are willing to give almost anything to have someone special in their lives, and remember your-not-so-easy -road to love. Hopefully it will make you appreciate your partner and your relationship more. People said, the harder you get it, the more you will appreciate it.

Happy loving, people!🙂

Cheers!

22 thoughts on “Love is never easy

  1. bener banget.. kita yang udah found our love itu harus sangat2 bersyukur ya… karena emang gak semua orang udah dan bisa menemukan love nya…

  2. Ahhhh I love love this post dea… So heartwarming and sweet.
    Pertama gue mau komen soal jargon STMJ. Huahaha itu nation-wide ya? Gue pikir cuma nge-trend di Bandung doang!😄
    Gue juga STMJ kok cuma entah kenapa waktu kuliah gue sama sekali nggak kepikiran mau pacaran jadi sbnrnya pacaran sama bandi pun accidental hehe. I thought I would be single and dating for the rest of my life becauae I’m not into relationship anyway tapi yeah, emang bener when you found the right person, everything that used to seem wrong feels so right.🙂
    I’m so glad you have found yours and be grateful about it De… You’re very lucky indeed.
    Dulu gue juga sering tuh bikin2 teori kayak di miss adviced. Mikir apa orang yang putus nyambung berkali2 bakal lebih susah settle down? Atau it all depends on expectation etc etc.. Tapi ternyata emang nggak ada teori yang bener2 applicable buat semua situasi krn love itself is unique. Sometimes you found love in a very weird place. Dan yeah I consider myself lucky to have found mine.
    Anyway bandi tuh seperti elo. I’m his first and hopefully his last. Kadang kalo gue tanya apa rasanya dia cuma blg “feel so blessed and lucky” dia lebih extreme lagi. Dia gak pernah jatuh cinta atau deketin atau nembak cewe sblmnya. So dia selalu blg akurasi dia 100%. He met me, wanted me and got me. Songong ya! Hahahaha
    But yeah you two are the lucky ones.🙂
    Have a good day, dea!

    1. hahahaha oh itu STMJ juga populer di bandung? gw ga tau sih may, gw cuma tau istilah itu gara2 senior2 gw hahaha. kalo lo tanya anak UPH lain mungkin mereka kaga tau juga istilah itu, jadi gw rasa ga semua orang tau :p

      eh lo suka nonton miss advised juga? hahah. gw juga tuh may suka berspekulasi dan berteori, termasuk untuk diri sendiri (apalagi waktu belom punya pacar), yg ada makin frustasi haha.

      wkkwkwkwk songong abis si bandi. well, but at least he knows what he want haha. so you’re lucky to have him, and he is lucky to have you (the first girl that he wants and he got it, because there are so many guys not so lucky as he is hahaha).

      have a good day to u too may🙂

  3. wah very nice post. Intinya kita harus bersyukur ya dengan apa yang sudah kita dapat =D
    Smoga bersyukurnya terus sampe jadi nenek2 dan kakek2.. hehehe…

    1. iya si emang.. cuma gw emang ngerasain si mel, sejak kerja itu temen jauh lebih dikit, jadi ya wajar aja chance buat ketemu calon pacar, buat yg belom pny pacar, jadi lebih kecil. belom lagi kan makin gede, orang2 yg available makin dikit, jadi pilihan juga semakin sedikit hahaha

  4. Wah Dea…. Bagus banget loh ini!! You and Utin are soooo lucky to have each other🙂 Gw baru tau kisah perkenalan lo sama Utin tu lewat link di post lo. Emang destiny yah!
    Gw kasih link ini ke temen gw yang sedang “capek” sama kisah finding the one-nya dia. Moga-moga bisa jadi semangat buat temen gw itu juga.

    Btw, istilah STMJ itu gw baru denger sekarang loh. Lucu banget…

    1. thank you diann…feel free to share🙂 semoga beneran bisa bantu ya. i’ll be honored hehe. iya lucu yah istilah STMJ itu.. dulu gw parno banget kejadian di gw, dan kenyataannya emang kejadian ya hahaha.

    1. hahahha iya istilah itu kayanya ga beken2 amat sih gel, kayanya ga semua temen2 kampus gw tau juga. cuma temen-temen jomblo2 seperjuangan gw aja yg pada tau hahaha. thankyou gel!

  5. aaaa Dea how are youuu? gue gak pernah denger istilah STMJ! hahaha… kalo dipikir2, istilah jomblo itu juga baru beken belon lama kan yah? apa udah lama yah?

    1. hahahahaha masa sih lo gatau nya? mungkin karena pas kuliah lo kaga jomblo sih yaa jadi ga tau hehe. tp itu beken di kalangan aktivis2 yg di SG gitu sih.. gw tau dari mereka2 itu hihi. btw kangen dehhh uda lama ga ngobrolllll

  6. Hehe seneng deh bacanya. Eniwei gw juga makin lama makin bersyukur, apalagi ngeliat banyak case-case orang yang belum bertemu belahan jiwanya *tsah* atau yang udah terlanjur stuck lalu tersiksa… *hiks*

    1. hai salam kenal juga. wah ternyata ada temen yg suka nonton juga dan kepikiran hal yg sama juga. bahkan kalau lo malah lebih berasa ya karena ada yang seprofesi hehe (tadi sempet ngintip postingannya hihi)

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